January 2010
The mind is all but an unseen prison.
Locked away are the secrets.
Emotions deemed classified.
But not all prisons can keep them hidden.
The insanity of one’s sanity spills over.
Those in the way feel the pain.
Their pain is expelled unto others.
The cycle is never ending.
Welcome to Hell.
Jamie Livingston's Photo Of the Day →
A man who took a picture every day for 18 years leading up to surprising moments.
I am alone
A field of tall grass
Nothing for miles
Brushing through desperately
Smoke rises behind
In a panic I run
The roar of flames gets closer
Feet slip
I fall
Trapped in the grass
Unable to rise
I suffocate on the toxic fumes
Burned my body will be
My hands are their own being
No control for what comes
My mind loses control
Unable to stop
Thinking goes out
Trouble comes in
I am my own worst enemy
I am a watcher.
Watching the details no one else notices.
They come to me easily.
What I see can be good or bad.
All that is known is that I see.
“You had my heart, at least for the most part
’cause everybody’s gotta die...”
– Avenged Sevenfold - “A Little Piece of Heaven”
It seems like ages.
A stretch of time so vast it boggles the mind.
Is there nothing we can do?
I cannot fathom such a thought of more longevity to this crisis I have.
My senses need to sense again.
This is not the time to continue on.
The end must be near.
It has to be.
I will reach out and take back what I need.
Day after day
Things feel the same
Is there a way
To break this fray
There comes a time where change is needed.
The reasons for change may be few or many.
What comes of change is uncertain.
Uncertainty leads to doubt.
Doubt becomes failure.
Is change really needed?
Wind roaring.
Sound deafening.
Vision blurring.
Limbs flailing.
Skin rippling.
Ground appr…
The scorn you deliver gives me chills.
Chills of the coldest cold.
A winter of failure and sadness.
Dark and miserable.
Sometimes I think to myself.
“I’d rather burn in Hell.”
Are we one or are we two?
A most important question.
Life.
Love.
Components that demand.
Meld this two.
Create our one.
I once had a dream. It was good. In this dream we were one. Together and happy. The world was bright and colorful. Full of joy and laughter. Nothing could take us apart.
It was a bright, sunny day. We were enjoying the afternoon. You gave me the look of a chase. I followed. Chasing you room after room, laughter about. You ran towards the door leading out. As I turn the corner I see you run...
Books of burden
Burning the mind
Taking what’s mine
No mercy
It all goes
What is left for me
Just a bag of books
I see you almost everyday.
The usual figure in your sight.
My choices are usually the same.
Observation has lead me to know your past.
You, on the other hand, know nothing of me.
No need to be scared.
I already know.
“Seeds of scorn are planted
Tribulations are hanging
Humiliation congeals...”
– Kylesa - “Unknown Awareness”
Once there was a road less traveled.
One would make a difficult choice to reach an outcome.
What if you didn’t take either?
Instead you stand.
Looking at each path, unsure of which to take.
The sign, rising above, taunting you about the hard choice.
Which road?
Which road?
Looking through the mirror you see the world vanish behind.
A grin across your face as you see all that which no longer is.
The facets of what was will not be able to escape this void.
Continuing forward you erase the past.
History is what is now and now will not remain.
Unending. Unrelenting.
The void devours all.
The erasing is never complete.
CMEJSCCK
The letters, in a certain position, mean the world to me. No matter the pain and suffering, they will remain. That is how it is, now and forever.
The feelings I have for you are poison to the heart you once held in your hands.
Alone. Weak. A failing machine.
Leaving me to die slowly.
A cruel way to leave the one who put you at the top of the world. Among no other.
Now you remain at the top, only to find me six feet under.
A fog rolls in. Unsuspecting. Chilly. Heavy. Nothing can proceed. Work stops. Life shuts down. An uncertain future. Will it leave? Why is it here? No answers. The fog envelopes all.
Get me out of here.
failure, also-ran, bankrupt, beat, born loser, bum, castaway, deadbeat, defaulter, derelict, disappointment, dud, flop, good-for-nothing, has-been, incompetent, insolvent, loafer, loser, lumpy, might-have-been, moocher, no-good, nobody, nonperformer, prodigal, turkey, underachiever, washout
i am all of these
What is happening?
Am I losing it?
I don’t know anymore.
Things are blurry.
Things are missing.
This puzzle grows larger.
The pieces grow smaller.
This can’t be.
I am losing it.
A fresh fire. The smell is calming. The touch is ever so warm.
This is my fire. Get your own.